Internet down + Verizon tech support = Kill me now

Oh my blogging fingers were on fire to write this one.

After the internet was restored, of course

In the years I've been here it's only happened maybe 5 times, but my beloved internet connection will shut off out of nowhere. I've taken a few notes and try the basic 5 troubleshooting steps, but when the connection is still a no go and I've got YouTubing, Googling, Twittering work to do... (big sigh)... I pick up the phone and make the dreaded tech support call.

I'll consider myself lucky this round. Only 45minutes on the call and it began working again. The initial automated questioning thing just fires you up right from the start. This robotic female voice asks all these questions, gives you half a second to respond, and replies with a
"I'm sorry. I didn't hear your answer" after I'm shouting "No!", "Yes!" or whatever else loud enough for my neighbor to hear. Ahh! (My neighbors are close, I'm not that crazy)

Then you're connected to the technician (who you pray isn't the outsourced employee sitting in another hemisphere who you'll have to concentrate with every brain cell to try and understand. Notice the PC angle I'm taking on this very obvious stereotype?)

Anyway

The technician was easy enough to understand, but she got a little smart when asking me to read my modem address off some site. (Now if you've read my previous blog entry on spelling out web addresses over the phone, this story will have a humorous tie-in)
I was reading off the alphanumeric address to her and got to the letter 'Q'.  So cut me a break, I've been up since 5am, it's Monday and at that moment I paused, because I couldn't think of a word that began with Q.  So being the honest person I am, I said "Q as in... I can't think of a word"
And she loudly barks into the phone:

'QUEBEC!'

Are you kidding me?!?! Yes, that really happened. So blog readers and citizens of the world, when you need to communicate the letter 'Q' over the phone, Quebec IS THE WORD YOU USE. She also paused a good 10 seconds after anything was spoken and I could almost see her scrolling through the If--->Then tech support trouble shooting guide. I swear I wish I could record some of the calls I've been on. They would be instant viral gems on YouTube!

Then the 'engineer' has to 'check' the line 17 times to make sure nothing else is wrong. If only they knew I put them on speaker and started tearin them up on my blog as they've finished troubleshooting me! (hee hee)

The funny part is when they ask if the line has a dial tone. Well, I have a land line, but it's for the DSL, not a phone. I have 3 jacks, but no phones plugged in anywhere. The calls at 5pm every night were getting a little too much. She asked if I could test the line, and I said I had no phones plugged in the house anywhere. She then asked if I had an extra phone I could plug in. Oh yes I do. I have my Dale Earnhardt Jr NASCAR phone someone bought me as a joke because it was $5 at Best Buy like 6yrs ago. I don't know why I've kept it... possibly for situations like tonight! So I drag out the race car phone and starting plugging and unplugging, and finally the internet starts working again. I just got slight deja vu... have I blogged on this topic before? Weird.

3 takeaways from this:

• I have a NASCAR phone in my possession, but if I need to... I can explain
• Next time I have to say 'Q' over the phone, I'm NEVER using Quebec!
• I don't care who you are, but everyone can relate to the frustration with tech support calls (Can I get an amen??)

But let's look on the bright side... at least it wasn't the shower or dishwasher I was placing the call for.

This guy wouldn't have tried that 'Quebec' line